


Homestuck One-shots and Ministories

by ɀìɾçօղìմʍɀҽąӀօէ (Jade444)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Fanfiction within fanfiction, Royalty AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 01:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19262995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade444/pseuds/%C9%80%C3%AC%C9%BE%C3%A7%D6%85%D5%B2%C3%AC%D5%B4%CA%8D%C9%80%D2%BD%C4%85%D3%80%D6%85%D5%A7
Summary: A small collection of one-shots or several part ministories. Some may be really short, some may be pretty long.This will mostly just contain fluff, but warnings WILL be given if there is smut/lemons!





	Homestuck One-shots and Ministories

**Dirkjake - PROMPT:** **"Just once I want to put the tip of my sword under a pretty boy's chin and tilt their head up to see the fear and arousal in their eyes. Is that too much to ask?"**

 

**\---**

 

Jake never would have known he would find himself here. But now he was with a group of people, leading some sort of secret caravan down to the Lower Kingdoms. Not only that, but now they were holding someone hostage. And somehow he was the leader of them. This was just kind of a mess.

He wouldn't say he didn't like the thrill of the situation though.

 

He went over how this happened previously once more...

 

…

 

The late evening had been approaching fast, the sun beginning its descent into the horizon. The raid about to take place was also approaching fast, a caravan meandering down the dusty road at a steady pace. Jake took his pistols from their holsters, hidden from the sight of the road by a large tree.

 

The plan was about to go in motion, his team would drop from the branches on top of the caravan, stop it, and then they'd steal whatever was inside. Jake didn't really need many of the supplies, and the idea to give it to someone who needed it more was only a secondary reason.

 

The only reason he did these was for the adventure, the thrill. It _was_ good that some good came out of it. Most of the travelers that came down this road were lower ranked nobles, you needed permission to head down this way from the Royals themselves.

 

His thoughts were stopped when he heard the telltale sounds of the caravan stopping, wheels making a groaning sound as they were halted unnaturally. There was one covered wagon, likely for supplies, and a carriage in the front, looking intricately decorated. They seemed to have happened upon one of the higher ranking nobles, from the look of it.

 

His team had already dropped in, and he headed for the door of the carriage. His pistol was aimed defensively in front of him as he knocked on the door loudly with the butt of the other gun. “Open up or I'll do it myself.” He said, and was surprised at what he saw when it did swing open. It was the Prince himself, as well as some other young-looking boys, likely suitors for one of the other kingdoms.

 

Jake looked at the prince, who as usual had strange-looking glasses covering his eyes, concealing them. For some reason the royal's gaze unnerved him. “All of you. Out. Empty your pockets, too.” He said, and watched them slowly get out. There were four boys, excluding the prince. They all seemed to be exchanging glances with each other nervously.  


“Oi! Eyes forward, worms.” Jake snapped, pointing toward the edge of the road. “If you don't want to get hurt, stand over there. If you do anything other than that, I can't guarantee your safety.” He said, then turned back to the carriage to look inside for any items he may be able to take.

 

After a moment, he heard a thud from outside, and then another, and then found himself being dragged out of the carriage. He immediately made sure he had a grip on his pistols and spun around, knocking the person away. The scene he faced was troublesome. The two people on his team were unconscious or dead, the four boys were gone, and the Prince was brandishing a sword, visibly ready to attack.

 

Not one to go down easily, Jake surged forward and fired off his pistols. The fight ended almost as fast as it started. Before he knew it, Jake was on the ground and struggling to get up. As soon as he sat up, positioned on his knees, there was a sword pointed at his face. His heart dropped in his chest, and he was definitely wondering if this could be his last few moments alive. Or, his last few moments as a relatively free man. He kept his eyes on the sword, dangerously close to his neck.

 

“Thought it would be that easy, man? Not all the nobles and royals are completely useless.” The Prince said, a stoic, calm expression on his face despite the situation.

 

Jake swallowed. If this was his last few moments, then he might as well make it worth it. “I don't know, ya still seem like a bit of a weakling to me.... Prince Dirk.”

 

“I see you're at least familiar with my family, then.” The sword-wielder pressed the tip of the sword ever so lightly to the skin of Jake's neck. The criminal was feeling rather nervous at this point.

 

“It's rather hard not to, really.” He replied, and had to stifle a wince as the blade pressed a little harder. With his pistols kicked across the ground several feet away, and being on his knees with a sword to his throat, Jake knew he had no way out of this. “So-” he was interrupted by the release of pressure, and the blade pressed his chin. He titled his head up and looked the Prince in the eyes(at least, what he could see through the shades).

 

Jake would be lying if he said this whole situation wasn't making him feel a little hot and bothered. A little warm under the collar. His expression must have reflected so, as Prince Dirk seemed rather amused. Well, as amused as you could generally gather from his lack of expression. There was definitely the very faint upturn to his mouth. “It is unfortunate I will have to take you to the prison, now. You'll be lucky to be allowed to live.” Came the Prince's admittance after what seemed like an eternity of just staring at each other.

 

“I don't suppose there's a way you could let me free and let me off with a warning?” Jake tried, mostly jokingly. “And I can promise ya I'll be a good boy and never steal again?” He added, with much more a lighthearted tone than before.

 

“I don't know, what would be in it for me?” Asked Prince Dirk, raising a brow.

 

Jake had to think for a moment. “Well, seeing as my life is pretty much in your hands, it'd likely have to be a big favor... I'd literally owe you my life.” He admitted.

 

“Tempting. Then perhaps you would allow me to spare your life by making you my personal servant?” Dirk suggested, then sheathed his sword. He'd already decided. “It will be rather hard to convince my parents to spare you if another route is taken.” He reasoned.

 

Jake almost immediately said no. Then he thought about it. His chance of making it out alive was much higher if he took the offer. But.... he couldn't just sign himself up for that. He could hardly stay in one place for more than a few hours, let alone trying to be someone's.... servant...

 

“I will regretfully have to decline...” Jake said, slowly getting up, off his knees and standing. “Though I may be able to propose something else...” he took a few steps toward Dirk, who backed up, matching his steps, looking a little uncertain. The prince's back hit the carriage, and he was stopped short. Jake's hand planted on the carriage next to his head. “Perhaps you would like to go on an adventure with me, Prince Dirk?” He asked, giving a charming smile. Or what he hoped was a charming smile.

 

The prince revealed his shades to reveal shocking orange eyes, both of them glinting with mischief.

 

“Hell. Fucking. Yes.”

 

 

**

 

“Like that would even fucking happen like that! This whole thing is absolute bullshit!” Karkat growled, shoving Dave and nearly pushing him out of his chair. Nepeta sat by, giggling.

 

Dave managed to stay in his chair and chuckled, putting his hands in the air. “hey, I think it's absolutely magnificent. Thanks for helpin' us, Nep.”

 

“No purroblem, Strider!” Nepeta responded, giving an ecstatic smile. “I'm always happy to help a fur-end with his fanfiction.” She added mischievously, handing the three sheets of printed-out paper to him.

 

Karkat made a vaguely disgusted noise, rolling his eyes. “You two are absolute dumbfucks. You know those two are totally going to fucking murder us when they find out, right? Plus, it's not even GOOD fanfiction, shitheads. Their whole relationship isn't even close to that, have you even met Jake? Good lord he's-” The rest of the troll's angry rant was cut off by a hand covering his mouth, which he had to put in a lot of effort to quell the temptation to leave Strider with a bit less blood than he started out with.

 

“I owe you a million, Nep, now we'll let you get back to... whatever, and do what we planned with this.” Dave said, then dragged Karkat off somewhere.

 


End file.
